Life is rarely constant; in fact, it’s been said that the only constant in life is change. While that may be true, we also know that the more things change, the more they stay the same.
I like to think of life as a sort of pendulum. Just like on a clock where a pendulum will swing to left and right, so society moves left and right—we’ve just gone through an election season and watched people taking up right (conservative) and left (liberal) stances, but while each election leaves open the possibility of swinging to left or right, a pendulum ultimately will come to rest in the center, and our country also while moving in one direction or the other for a time usually swings back to maintain some degree of balance between the two.
We find that life is like that in all its aspects, constantly seeking balance. We might go through a phase where we are really busy, but then we follow it with one where perhaps life is slow and we rest up for the next busy period. Perhaps we have periods where we feel that everything is going wrong in life, but then a month later, everything seems to be going perfectly, and perhaps we find ourselves ultimately content to be somewhere in the middle.
Relationships work the same way. When we first meet someone, we might hit it off right away. We are excited about the other person, we like everything about him or her, we can’t stop talking about the person and how wonderful she is, or we want to spend every minute with him, and he seems to share that desire. Things go along great for a while, but then slowly, he begins to lose interest in us, or at least we fear that is the case. He doesn’t return our phone calls. She says she’s too tired to go out tonight. Suddenly, we feel like we are no longer wanted, like we are getting the silent treatment.
But sometimes we take such pendulum swings too personally. We become so enamored with someone that we forget common sense. Not everyone can spend time with someone else every minute of every day. Sometimes people need a break, time apart, time to grow separately. Sometimes your best friend from yesterday you rarely see for a while, but at some point in the future, the person returns into your life again. Life is just like that. They say about a pet that if you let it go and it’s meant to be, it will return to you. If a relationship is meant to be, it too will return to you.
Just because the pendulum swings away from us does not mean it will not swing back. Give people their space, give people the opportunity to feel something different, to experience time apart to gather their thoughts. The world is not falling apart just because one political party is voted in over another, and it will not fall apart if your relationship changes—when the pendulum swings back, new elements from time spent apart will be introduced to make the relationship interesting again. Be patient. All is well and whatever the learning experience is that you are encountering, you will be the better for it.